T-minus 17 hours and counting...

I can't believe that I'm leaving tomorrow. Here I am surrounded by suitcases and travel info and it hasn't really hit me yet that I'm actually "moving" tomorrow.

I have so many mixed feelings about this.


I'm excited. This is an AMAZING opportunity that not many people get and there will be so much to see and do and try. I mean there are people out there that I have yet to meet but will become really good friends. I'm going to be staying with a typical Spanish family. I will get to travel all around Spain and Europe. I will be on the same continent for the Winter Olympics and the World Cup. So much to look forward to!


At the same time, I'm so nervous and scared.

All the changes and things that I will have to get used to seem so overwhelming. I'm leaving so many things behind. My family, friends, Portland...so much to want to stay here for. So much I haven't seen here, right in my own city. I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights because I've been having these dreams about all that could go wrong. Lost luggage, no friends (multiple times), failing grades, missing passports, and just being lonely and missing home. I realize this is very pessimistic of me and I should try and not focus too much on my anxiety, but it's there and no matter how many people tell me it's going to be okay and I'll have a blast once I get there and get settled in, it won't dissipate. I don't know. I suppose it's normal to be nervous before any big life changing event in your life, but this seems a bit excessive.

It's just such a mix of feelings.

I guess I'll just take it one day at a time...starting with tomorrow...when I get on that plane and fly away from all that I know, am comfortable with, and love so so much.


Here goes nothing...